A “BOOB” JOB YOU SAY?

Once upon a time, 34 years ago years ago to be exact I was born and… just kidding! Not gonna take it that far back, at least not on this one. For this piece, I will travel back just 4 years. Why only 4 years back you ask? Well, four years ago I faced news that I never thought I’d hear. I was told that I am brca1 positive and given my family history of breast cancer and the many cysts that were found in my “girls” and ovaries I opted to get ahead of it and proceed with a double mastectomy and a total hysterectomy at just 30 years old! Of course this was only discovered after years of complaining of stomach swelling issues that led to ultrasounds, that led to the good old mammogram and of course that led to “alright momma we need to get you tested!” I made this decision not just for me, but for my kids and husband! I wanted to give my kids a lifetime with their mommy! The appointments spiraled and I had back to back appointments, scans, ultrasounds and blood tests. It was draining! It was going too fast! It was nerve wrenching, but it was NEEDED! Surgey date came and on May 30th of 2016, I felt ready but broken at the same time. I cried like a baby because I was parting ways with a piece of my body that I loved, that “defined” me as a woman, that nursed my two beautiful kiddos, a piece of me that was just that, a piece of ME! After getting myself together that morning, we headed to the hospital and my strength kicked back in and I was ready! My family surrounded me, covered me in prayer and I drifted off into a 10 HOUR power nap. TEN HOURS y’all!

Waking up from a nice long nap, I thought wow that’s it I am done and all was good…well besides having to get my tissue expanders filled weekly with saline (with the longest/thickest needle) to create the pockets for soon to come implants that were swapped for the expanders a few months later. Nonetheless, I was excited to be “DONE” with the “big” surgery! But…. a year and half into my journey I started getting sick and started gaining soooo much weight, inflammation, brain-fog, migraines, joint pain, hair loss, bruises, rashes I mean the list freaking goes on!!!! No one could figure it out and my doctor had decided to test me for Lupus given my symptoms and results came back positive for it along with fibromyalgia and mixed tissue disease. Whaaaat?! How?! Why?! We’re my initial reactions! I got placed on 14 pills a day!!!!!! That was not my cup of tea and I was not having it! So, I didn’t give up researching and advocating for my life! I knew there was more to the story! I prayed, I fasted, I cried out to God to reveal what was happening and how can I take charge! I slowly cut back on my lupus meds with my doctor on board and supporting my decision! I started doing acupuncture and cutting out inflammatory foods starting focusing on my gut health and resetting my entire body! It was the best thing I could have done. I started feeling better, much better! But, something was still wrong and rashes kept coming even though my blood tests for lupus kept showing I was in “remission”. One night, I swear it was about 1am and I shot up out of my sleep and something told me to google “breast rash after mastectomy reconstruction with implant”, no lie that was my search and BOOM there it was…. the implants that were used on me were recalled due to being super toxic causing autoimmune issues and breast implant illness (BII) that is sadly missed and not even checked as a source with most doctors. Anyway, I knew it was time to get this crap out and get them out ASAP! Implants for those of you who don’t know are filled with over 40 heavy metals that leak into our bloodstream causing a wide variety of issues!!! It’s insane! (That’s a whole another blog I will get to) I was even more frustrated that I wasn’t notified of this recall and found this information on my own because I refused to sit back. That’s God y’all! Fast forward to 2020. The year that’s been nothing but curveballs with a global pandemic and just a world on fire. I was exhausted calling numerous surgeons and trying to find the best doctor for what I needed. Until, I finally was connected with a surgeon in NOLA who only specializes in what I needed and decided to move forward with the next Phase of my journey. Spent the next few weeks mentally preparing for a major surgery yet again, but this time I legit felt terrified, lost, scared especially because this time I felt alone! My kids were back home in Florida and that was weighing in on me, hubby and I were not in the greatest place and reassurance I needed just wasn’t present, but God was with me and has never forsaken me and that was my constant reminder! On June 18, 2020 I was scheduled to have these silent killers removed. The best option for me was do go with a TDAP. In simple terms, an incision across my entire back to remove flaps and blood supply to be used as my new “boobs”. I believe surgery was about 8 hours and when I woke up I was immediately feeling like a weight was lift off my chest. The implants were super moldy (gross I know) and were super heavy. I was up and walking the hallways the very next day! It was a completely different experience and I never felt so good! I instantly saw less inflammation in my face the next day! I instantly felt healthier, FINALLY!

Spent the next 2 months getting back to my old habits of working out, eating right and just pouring into God, myself, my kids and my marriage. Because these were the important ones that suffered the most when I wasn’t my best self. However, I ran into a slight issues with my back incision around week 4 and it opened about 2 inches wide. Took FOREVER to heal and close and left me with a very horrible scar and thin layer of skin that kept scabbing whenever I had any clothing touch it. My right boob also didn’t take full shape so back to NOLA for Phase 2, which by the way is super common when you have reconstruction using flaps. Phase 2 Day, was on November the 11th and another 5 hours surgery! This time my kids were with my husband and I and we agreed to take it on as a family and with full love and support! I struggled with this one, went very pale, got super light headed and blood pressure was dropping quick! I couldn’t keep anything down and was given one hour to hold pretzels down or it was blood transfusions! They pumped me with 3 different anti-nausea meds and I slowly completed the bag and 2 granola bars!!!!! When the nurse entered she was super pleased to see that I had my “color” back. I was discharged and hubby drove us back to Orlando the following day. Sooo different than the other surgeries and I felt stronger too!

Like every surgery, things can happen and one week post op from my phase 2, I was on antibiotics and steroid to help some issues I had going on with my right side, but I knew this was part of recovery and soon I will be able to close this chapter of my life, because I know God is in total control, has favor upon me and has been by side every step of this journey! Do I regret my initial decision? NOPE, because I would rather face these giants than to duke it out with the “C” word! Here I am 3 weeks out and excited for what the future holds. Excited to share my journey. Excited to be a blessing to others as many have been for me by sharing their story! So the next time my fellow Brca sistas are told that you just got “a boob job” As hard as it is not to go OFF, show them grace for they have no clue what we have to endure to get a some “boobs”. I pray that ladies facing the same decisions find comfort knowing that you’re not alone! That I am here to continue sharing my story because there’s a lot more to this story. I pray that you are able to walk in confidence knowing you are a super hero, a fighter, a warrior, a beautiful Previvor/Survivor and YOU GOT THIS!

Embrace the scars, learn to love them, learn to love yourself and release the negative self talk that says you aren’t beautiful because you don’t look like the gals on IG!